Ur-Quan Quotes

Blah, blah, blah!

Mary had a little lamb!

I like to hold fuzzy little animals and give them huggie-wuggies.

You are probably wondering why an Ur-Quan is saying such stupid things.

Well, he isn't saying them. I am... that's right -- ME

the little guy down in the corner.

Since I've been stuck down here for this entire game

translating `Submit or Die!' into about a hundred different languages

I just thought I'd take this opportunity to express MY feelings.

You want to know what I think?

I think this whole game would have been better

if they'd done it as a musical.

That's what I think, but do the designers listen to me? NO!

Attention interloper - heed this recorded message!

This drone-vessel speaks with the voice and authority of the Ur-Quan.

You are trespassing within Ur-Quan space.

This world, Earth, may not be approached for any reason.

Nor will hostilities against our orbital platform be tolerated.

In addition, your ship does not respond to standard Hierarchy identification transmissions

and is therefore deemed to be independent.

This is not permissible -- only subservience shall be tolerated.

This drone now leaves to inform the Ur-Quan of your transgressions.

You are commanded to remain here and await the arrival of the Ur-Quan.

Disobedience will be punished.

WHAT! A human in a Precursor service vehicle?!

How did you escape the slave shield, human?

Or are you a rogue?

Uh... surrender foul creature!

Submit or die foolish human!

Why do you wish to enslave us?

Although you consider us the enemy, these conclusions are flawed. We are your salvation.

We bring you peace

a peace built upon OUR social framework imposed upon your planet

a new world order in which your prosperity and security are assured by the Ur-Quan.

We will protect you from the hazards of this hostile universe, from dangers so hideous

your simple minds cannot imagine their dark scope.

Today, we are the enemy. In time, this will change.

Soon, you will come to understand the boon of slavery we force upon you

and then, you will revere and even love us for this gift.

Okay. I guess I surrender.

We will not kill your entire crew

only those responsible for decision making

specifically YOU, Captain, and your officers.

Nope! I won't surrender!

You have made the incorrect choice

and now you must suffer the consequences of your mistake.

I really, really, honestly surrender. I mean it. No kidding.

Your wise decision has spared many of your crew the pain of death.

However, as the commanding officer of your renegade vessel

you will bear the full extent of the defined punishment

which is death...

I will leave now.

Your independence is too dangerous for us to tolerate.

You shall be punished.

You may not approach the ancient Sa-Matra, the symbol of Ur-Quan dominance!

Your presence here is further violation of the slave laws

which your species have already violated so flagrantly.

We cannot tolerate such insubordination!

Your species' penalty shall be annihilation!

There is something wrong here... something which makes my sheath retract and my talons ooze.

I sense the ugliness of a thousand evil thoughts

and I have located the source of these fetid emanations.

They come from aboard your vessel!

Foolish renegade human, why have you come here? All that you have found

is your inevitable punishment.

Human, you have ignored our commands and now you will be punished.

Your insubordination is intolerable!

You MUST obey our slave laws!

Further disobedience will result in punitive measures against your homeworld.

We will give you no more warnings, renegade human.


When you left this system, our ship was near enough to detect your translation into HyperSpace.

Though we lost your HyperSpace spoor, we were able to backtrack your path here to this star system.

And what did we FIND? An outlaw culture! Humans outside of a slave shield!

You will note that this oversight has been rectified.

Now, we shall finish the job.

...in addition, your refusal to answer our transmissions is taken as an insult

which shall earn you the reward of Death unless you respond immediately!

Hey!? Where am I?

Your insubordination is intolerable!

You MUST obey the slave laws, or face our gruesome punishment!

Why does my head hurt?

You forget that the consequences of your misbehavior

will cause great suffering for your entire people.

Wow!? Where did the last two weeks go?

We have been lenient with your species, because you are so immature.

Now this attitude has changed.

You WILL be held responsible for your malfeasance!

Whoa! I must have been under some form of weird mental compulsion.




It was this 'wascally' little guy in Umgah space. He did it!


It resembled a large, terran amphibian.

It looked like one of your Talking Pets on brain steroids.

A Talking Pet with compulsion powers!

This is grave news indeed, the worst in millenia!

We will speed the war against our cousins, the Kohr-Ah

then we shall deal with this neo-Dnyarri, this Talking Pet.

Alien Captain! You have done a service for us greater than you can possibly imagine.

Your reward is continued survival, and if you return to Earth and destroy your vessel IMMEDIATELY

we will abolish all punishment against you and your species.

Now leave!... and never return.

Kind of like a cross between a turd and a toad.

These references are obscure. Respecify.

I think I was attacked by some form of alien mind control!

WHAT?!! OH NO!!!



I am fairly sure that I was possessed by the devil.

Devil? The only real devils are the ones flying the dark ships, human

the murderous Kohr-Ah.


It was as if I had fallen asleep, or unconscious.

I felt like someone had control of my mind and my body.

This sounds all too familiar... yes, the nightmare begins again.

Perhaps we should contact the Kohr-Ah Primat, explain to her.

No, they will not believe. They are too stubborn and simple-minded.

They will not see the danger until it is too late!

Human, begone! Leave my sight! We must defeat the Kohr-Ah speedily

so that we can attend to this new Dnyarri menace.

Kind of like the screen went dark, and then POW! here you were.


Why should I explain this to you? You're just going to try to kill me!

Human. We Ur-Quan never lie. NEVER!

It is a weakness to lie and, as you have noticed, the Ur-Quan are not weak!

So listen, and believe these words

if what you say is true, you were in contact with a creature so horrible, so evil

that it makes ANYTHING else you have ever known TRIVIAL by comparison.

There is no equal to the Dnyarri's cruelty, to its love for torment.

Dying a THOUSAND TIMES would be preferable to what is in store for you

if we do not stop that creature.

So tell me what I want to know, human. NOW!

Look, ah... this was all a mistake. A weird mistake. Bye!

Your insolence knows no bounds!

You will be punished.

...and again you have violated our great battlefield

interfered with our Doctrinal War!

We were tolerant last time, and permitted you to escape.

This time, you shall not be so fortunate.

Uh oh.

It is as though your species' brain is too small to hold a simple thought


This is not a complex idea.

We have just GOT to stop meeting like this!

You boldly enter our space! Approach this Dreadnought as though it were a recreation base

and then play the dumb hominid?

Who do you take us for, Captain... Spathi!?

Look, ah... big mistake! We're in a hurry! Goodbye.

We cannot permit such disobedience from our slaves.

We will make an example of you for the rest of our subjects.

Hold! What you are doing to us is wrong! Why do you do this thing?

Alien, you have spoken the Words, and you have spoken them rightly.

We will tell you our reasons why we enslave all other sentient life.

We evolved on a hostile world, the descendants of solitary hunters.

In those ancient days, there was no Kohr-Ah or Kzer-Za, only the Ur-Quan.

We explored our world, and then the space beyond.

Here we met the six races of the Sentient Milieu, which we joined as partners.

It was on a routine planetfall that one of our Milieu scoutships first met the Dnyarri.

They were evilly intelligent creatures who could control the minds of others.

They wanted to rule the universe. We could not resist them.

For thousands of years, we were unthinking slaves to the Dnyarri.

The Dnyarri had a special liking for us Ur-Quan

so they began to tinker with our genes. They built two Ur-Quan sub-races

one Green, the thinkers and planners

the other Black, the warriors and laborers.

When the martyred genius Kzer-Za gave us the secret to defeating the Dnyarri, we destroyed them.

Then we decided that we would never again be slaves.

We would follow the Path of Now and Forever.

We decided to enslave or imprison all other intelligent life in the galaxy.

We had slave-shielded one world, when we learned that the Black Ur-Quan

under a new leader, Kohr-Ah, had devised the Eternal Doctrine

which called for the `cleansing', the annihilation, of all non-Ur-Quan sentient life.

Before we could stop them, they burned the Yuptar race's homeworld

and were on their way to the planet of the last remaining free race.

We met the Kohr-Ah in orbit above that planet. We confronted them. They would not submit. We fought.

When our battle was done, the Kohr-Ah were defeated.

We exiled them, sent the remnant of the Kohr-Ah fleet into the unknown reaches of the galaxy.

Then we began our own migration, moving around the galaxy in the opposite direction of the Kohr-Ah.

Captain. You have heard our words. Now you have a decision to make.

Submit to us, the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za, or face our wrath.

You didn't answer my question. What's your problem?

You have intruded upon the battleground of our Doctrinal conflict with the Kohr-Ah.

This is not tolerable.

We must maintain our concentration on this war. We must win.

Should we lose, the consequences to you and all other sentient life in this part of the galaxy

would be very grave.

Since you have refused to depart willingly

it appears that we must eliminate you ourselves.

Hello? Ur-Quan? Are you paying attention to me?

In our twenty thousand years along the Path of Now and Forever

we have dominated thousands of species, yes

but we have saved hundreds from extinction.

You imagine the threat of unknown invaders, or alien pestilence borne on the solar wind.

We have seen these. But you do not acknowledge your own worst enemy, yourselves.

We have found dead worlds without number, planets ravaged by atomic fire or gaian collapse.

These planets were not rendered sterile by outside forces.

They bear sad testament to the effects of unrestrained instinct and emotion

or simple ignorance.

We will prevent such mistakes.

You aren't much of a listener, are you?

A final command human, but it is more of a plea.

Your insubordination has guaranteed your death, there can be no alternative

but your species has not yet crossed the threshold of disobedience

that would require us to decimate Earth.

You have survived combat with us before. You may survive the ensuing battle.

If this happens, leave! Return to your home. Await our arrival there.

If you interfere with us here, we may lose the Doctrinal conflict with the Kohr-Ah.

If we are defeated, you are defeated as well.

The Kohr-Ah will be unleashed. They will begin a genocidal orgy, cleansing all known sentience.

They will crack the slave shield around Earth and reduce the surface of your blue world to cinders.

So... it is the human slave.

How strange. I would have thought your species was extinct by now.

We have a suggestion for you.

FLEE! Run as fast and as far as your ship will take you.

Human? You are a fool! Why are you still here?

Flee!... before the Kohr-Ah find you!

Why should we run away?

Because you are doomed if you remain here!

Our Doctrinal War is over. We, the Kzer-Za, have lost.


Because if you do not run -- do not find somewhere to hide and nurture your species

you are extinct, and we, who have tried to protect you

are now powerless to stop the killing frenzy of the Kohr-Ah.

So what happens now?

Now the Kohr-Ah and their Eternal Doctrine have free reign in these stars.

The Kohr-Ah will visit each of our slave races, staying only long enough

to ensure that not one of the species remains alive.

So what happens to you?

Human, days ago, I would have killed you for your insolence

but now... what is the use? You and your kind will receive the ultimate punishment soon enough.

I will tell you what you wish to know.

While the Kohr-Ah move through space, killing your neighboring species

we shall remain here, guarding the trophy... the Sa-Matra.

When the Kohr-Ah are done with their dark business

they will take possession of the Sa-Matra, and then we will part ways

traversing the galaxy in opposite directions, fulfilling our doctrines

and preparing for our next Doctrinal War.

Well, it's been less than uplifting. Bye.

Farewell human. I hope your species survives.

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