So, I suppose you are wondering what I'm doing at this control console
well, I guess I can tell you now.
I'm writing a screenplay!
It's an existential thriller!
Kind of a cross between a Woody Allen angst-fest mixed with some of Tobe Hooper's best work.
But actually, this is just my way of getting my wing in the door, you see
what I really want to do is DIRECT!
BRAAK! It is sure and a true thing that the alien interloper has now been warned
not to approach Caer Zeep-Reep, the Queen's High Perch
lest it be blasted without further warning!
BRAAK! It is a shocking thing to see the return of the human renegade!
One knows this will not be boding well with her Majesty today.
What's happened in the twenty years since our species last met?HEEP! It is a wondering thought that crosses my mind human starship Captain.
Are ye not knowing that the cause of our Queen and empire
is now allied with the fortunes of the mighty Ur-Quan?...
...and that yer presence here is being only the end of yer life?
Haven't ye got the sense, human, to know this simple thing?
BRAAK! Ye are asking the words of a mindless child, human!
Here, in the Hall of the Queen's High Perch
ye shall not be finding the sympathies ye so vainly seek.
There are none here but the nobles and thanes of the Yehat Clans.
It is a sure thing that we will not be casting flower petals in yer path of rebellion.
I, x of y commanding the z, demand that you uphold your duties as our allies!Yip! Are ye DAFT human!? Have ye not heard our words?
You and yer kind are slaves, just as we
but you humans have been confined within a shield of slaves!
To be found outside this selfsame shield is surely yer own doom!
It is NOT a permitted thing fer ye to be a-travelling through space
and now, we must be conforming to our Queen's oath to the Ur-Quan.
We must be getting about the business of killing you!
You must help us. Surely you owe us this much, at least!BRAAAK! It is an unbelieveable thing!
Ye speak the words that ruffle our feathers and cause our blood to boil!
We, the loyal servants of our Queen, bless her Beak, will not be helping the likes of ye
or any of the traitor Yehat bastards ye may have found among the ranks of the starship Clans!
Surely giving us some scraps of information would be okay?AWK! Our Queen has spoken the commands to us, and we are obeying her words!
No assistance, of any kind at all, shall be given to you, human
so do not be making the assumptions, that ye know a right thing from a wrong!
Are ye smarter than the Queen, is that what yer saying, human?
We shall not be giving ye a SCRAP OF MEAT!... much less our secrets.
Tell us of your offshoot species, the Pkunk.The Pkunk have been absorbed. They are no more.
This is how it should be.
Now the matter is settled, human. Do not be bringing it up again... BRAAK!
BRAAAK! CLACK!! HISS!! CLACK!!
The cowards live?!! HISS!! It is unbelievable!!
AWK! It is a SAD, SAD day to be hearing this thing from ye, human.
The P... the Pku... BRAK!! I canna even say their vile name!
The Pku... PKU-NK! are the greatest embarrassment our species has ever suffered!
Do not be calling these wretched creatures an offshoot of our species! BRAAK!
Better it is that ye be calling them GARBAGE! or DROPPINGS!... or better yet
do not be talking about them at all! CLACK!
You disappoint us. We expected more from you. Goodbye.So human, now ye be thinking that ye shall slink away
to commit some vile treason and dirty our Queen's good name. Isn't this true?
AWK! Do not be answering! We know the truth.
We will not let ye pass!
BRAK! What am I seeing on my view screen!? HOOT!
It is none other than the flattened old face of our friends, the human!
But old ally, are ye not knowing that we, the Yehat are allied with the Ur-Quan now?...
and yer presence outside the slave shield, and, HOOT!... in an armed starship
are clear violations of yer Oath of Fealty?!
AWK! Whatever shall we do? It just isn't a right thing to kill you, human
but as a loyal member of my Clan, I must obey the wishes of our Queen!
HOOT! Human, what are you doing back here!? Are ye totally off yer perch!?
We have sympathies fer yer cause, tis true
but we must obey the orders of our Queen, however much we may disagree with them!
Human! I am beginning to think that ye are touched, fer sure!
Ye tempt fate and our sympathy too much, I think.
This time, perhaps we cannot be as much yer friends as ye would like.
AWK! Human! Human. You try our souls with yer return!
What is it ye be wanting now?
We should be allies... friends!BRAAK! Your words are flying in the face of the facts, human.
We are no longer being your AWK!... allies.
But unlike the nobles of our homeworld, we, of the Starship Clans
are AWK!... bereaved at this course of events.
The Queen's decision to be AWK!... joining the Hierarchy, pains us!
How did the Ur-Quan defeat you? What happened?BRAAK!! HISS!!! CLACK! BRAAACK! HISS!!!
WE - WERE - NOT - DEFEATED, HUMAN!!!!
Never! Never in the two-thousand years of the Veep-Neep Queens
have the Yehat ever, BRAAK!... EVER suffered a defeat!
It is this fact ALONE that is making our loyalty to the Queen so strong!
This is the unbreakable bond that keeps the Clans together!
When the Ur-Quan were entering our home star system at Gamma Serpentis
we had a thousand starships prepared to defend our home, BRAK!!
But then... our Queen... She... she
allied with the Ur-Quan
and the fight is over before it is even begun. AWK!
What about your legendary honor? Your courage? What would the Shofixti think?!AWK! Awk!... hiss... awk... (sob!)...(whimper)!
We have fallen so far. (sob!)
We are not being the same (whimper!) great birds of prey your people were once knowing and trusting.
We have each betrayed the honor of our Clan, Awk! (whimper!)... just as our Queen
is betraying each of us with her association with the Ur-Quan...
If the valiant child species, the (sob-gulp!)... Shofixti were being here today
the shame!... Oh the shame!... it would be unbearable!
Aren't you just slaves to the Ur-Quan?HISS!!! BRAK!! NO!
WE ARE NOT SLAVES!! WE ARE!... We are!... we are... battle thralls.
I, x, of the z, in the name of y ask the Clans to honor their word and fight at our side!As much as my heart cries to aid ye, valiant human, AWK!... I cannot!
Each of us is sworn first to our Queen who
AWK!... has commanded us to treat ye as an enemy of the Crown!
Your species' obligation cannot simply be forgotten!AWK! BRAK!! AWK!! Can't ye see that ye are killing me human?
The shame!... the awful shame of it!
What ye say is true, BRAAK!... we SHOULD be under the same wing
but DAMN YER EYES!... our Queen has given the Ur-Quan our allegiance
and there is nothing I can be doing about it now!
At least help us with materials for our struggle!AWK! We cannot!
To be doing so would be a direct violation of our royal Queen's commands!
Think, Yehat. The sheer dishonor of it all.AWK! BRAAK! Awk!... hiss... awk... (whimper)!
We cannot be giving ye material aid, Captain, AWK!...
...but perhaps ye can make use of this information.
Captain, when we were fighting the Great War against the YEEP!... Mycons, YEEP!...
we encountered a number of odd worlds which seemed to be having their crust shattered.
Molten lava ran across the surface in huge rivers, and dense metallic elements were abundant.
But the strangest world we found was the first planet at the star at coordinates 639.5 : 231.2.
The Mycons were guarding this planet with an almost limitless number of their Podships
as though there were something of great value there.
We could never break through their forces, though we destroyed scores of their ships.
Perhaps, if ye fare better than we, or can somehow trick the Mycons to let ye land
you may discover this secret, and it may help ye in yer quest.
Tell us about the Pkunk.This is a matter for the Yehat, human, and ONLY for the Yehat.
The Pkunk have been absorbed... and that is being the end of it.
Do not ask further about this matter.
BRAAAK! CLACK!! HISS!! CLACK!!
You have met them!?? The wretched creatures are alive?!!
HISS!! CLACK!! HISS!! CLACK!!
You should be telling us where they are, Captain!
Tell us so that we can be correcting the mistake made a thousand years ago
when we permitted the Pkunk to leave our Nest alive.
By all rights, we should have eliminated the craven cowards down to the last bird!
Goodbye Yehat... our allies and friends.Though honoring our past commitment we are not, AWK!
we will be letting you go in peace.
AWK! Ye are causing us sorrow, human, sorrow indeed
because now we must obey the commands of our Queen and destroy ye.
This may come as a shock, but the Shofixti are reborn.
If this is being a true thing, there will be many changes.